Are You Emotionally Sensitive? Know What to Do....

Nowadays, we keep on hearing the term “emotional intelligence” (EI) and its powerful impact on our lives. We all have an idea what it is; yes, interpretation, regulation, and application of emotion intelligently. But what I want to ask you today is, are you emotionally sensitive? Ok, let me know something about you. Do you feel happy immensely in no time when you feel good and feel pain hopelessly when you meet disappointment? Do you get annoyed when people try to get you to do too many things at once? Do changes in your life shake you up? Do you love that you’re able to sense how others feel? can you exhibit both excessive tolerance and intolerance? well, if all of your answers are “yes”, then you are excessively sensitive. You must be thinking, why it is important to discuss emotional sensitivity. Well, If EI is one of the crucial factors for your success then we equally need to know more about “sensitivity” as it also has the potential to affect our lives strongly in a negative way.

Now, I want to share some facts about “emotional sensitiveness”; what is it, how it happens and what happens when someone is emotionally sensitive. A person is considered highly sensitive if he/she is really quick to detect and respond to the slightest change, signals or influences, than others. Emotional sensitivity is all about emotions and the intensity of emotions a person experiences. Emotionally sensitive individuals have a faster reaction time to emotional situations, experience more intense reactions, and are slower to return to their emotional baseline. If you are emotionally sensitive, then you experience emotions more intensely than others. Your feelings of love, joy, happiness, anger, sorrow and fear are stronger than average. As a result, you struggle every day to cope with it  if you aren’t able to manage emotions. Here I must inform you that, the opposite of sensitivity is not “being insensitive”, rather it’s “specificity”  when the person is not having the above-mentioned condition.

When a sensitive person comes into contact with a stimulus he/she is more likely to respond impulsively. Impulsive response means taking steps before adequate thinking, and we are more likely to take inappropriate decisions at that time due to lack of sufficient analyzation since human brain requires some minimum reasoning time to process the given information. It  however depends on our individual capabilities to think and complexity of the given situations (like how many and what kind of facts), it is processing. Here I should mention, we all have a certain potential to be oversensitive at some point when we feel vulnerable, including those who qualify with the term specificity. Not only weakness, sometimes strength also triggers this sensitivity, and manifests in some behavioural peculiarity that a person doesn't exhibit usually.

For emotionally sensitive people, just the thought of making a decision may create anxiety that interferes with thinking clearly. To cope with the unpleasantness, emotionally sensitive people often develop different styles of decision-making strategies that are not effective in developing optimal solutions. In addition to not making a “well-thought-out “planning, they often see themselves as unable to make good decisions, which only increases their anxiety and makes the problem worse. Emotionally sensitive people often love the fact that they’re able to sense how others feel. They are passionate and compassionate. They experience intense joy. But at the same time, managing sadness, anger, fear, envy, and jealousy can be a struggle. Being different from others in the intensity of their feelings can lead to a negative view of themselves which creates additional issues such as hiding who they are, loneliness, and self-hatred.

Now the question is, if a person is overly sensitive, and facing the adversity of emotional disposition, how he/she can manage it to utilize their sensitivity wisely and overcome its hurtful effects. Everyone has some feelings and have a certain amount of emotions so that he/she can respond and react in a holistic way. However, to avoid the negative impact of emotions, what is needed is to hold yourself before giving any immediate response whenever an emotional situation occurs. Let me show you how to do this.

HANDLING REACTIONS:

• Feel it:  feel your emotion. Is it good? Is it bad? Just feel yourself.
• Action:  now rate it how others would feel it if it happened to them.

• Decision:  NOTE the number from scale above what 80% people would feel from that same incident you have faced.

RESPONSE, DON’T REACT:  

• Get three deep breathes
• Think of Your choice of actions and their consequences
• Do what 80% of people would opt in this exact same situation
• You can Choose the most suitable one from the box given below.

TAKING A LONG-TERM MEANINGFUL DECISION:

• Relax:  Take your time. Don’t get rush into the decision impulsively. Sit at a quiet place, get some snacks and beverage. Relax. Now think.
• Ask Yourself:  Remember you should have satisfactory answers for each of the set of “W-H questions” (what/who, when, why, how, where) behind considering and planning of any particular decision. W-H questions always work effectively to get a crystal clear equation. First, you need to focus on your priority, and then fill the other factors accordingly. For example, if you are searching for a person who is simple, honest and innocent then a five years old can qualify your “who” category of W-H equation; you can’t expect a 25 years old man to be there. Once you are satisfied with your “who/what” category, then you can fill the equation why, when, how, and where you can find that person/ object/event accordingly. It basically helps you to maintain a realistic expectation.  You can use paper-pencil if you need.
• Decide:  Whatever you decide at the end of the day, it should be easy to execute as anything complicated will simply make you puzzled. A “Thinking chair” box is given below for your help to set and achieve your desired goal without being very emotional about anything.